From dream to reality

Welcome...we invite you to follow our journey to build our dream farm/homestead, God's Blessing Farm. From where we were, to the birth of the dream,to the search for land, to the land purchase,building the infrastructure and each step along the way.We invite you to watch comment and advise. If you are new to the blog you might want to start at the begining post. Be blessed and enjoy the ride with us

Monday, November 29, 2010

Frogs and princes..does TLC mean Totaly unLiveable Conditions???

There is an old saying"You have to kiss a lot of frogs to get a prince". Obviously a reference to the fairy tale search for just the right mate. I always thought that kissing frogs promiscuously was a great way to get warts and probably a lousy way to find a magically transforming partner. Alas however searching for property in our price range will generate a lot of frog kisses.
In fact with the Internet searching for property has really morphed into a exercise that really parallels Internet Dating. Think about it. You cant date everybody (though I know a few people have tried). You cant run and look at every property on the MLS. So you review the profiles/listings. They are about the same when you get right down to it. Pictures,many not recent, descriptions which stretch the realm of reality and all forms of exaggerations....

Internet Dating your typical profile translation:
  • Curvy build - At least 20lbs overweight
  • People say I look like Ed Harris- Severely receding hairline
  • Athletic build- Woman= Shoulders like a linebacker and big ankles Man= Frat boy guns and a gut like a Dallas Cowboys lineman.
  • Great personality- A face that would scare a nun (both sexes)
  • Cerebral- No communication skills whatsoever (both sexes)
  • Loves high tech- Has no social life and spends countless hours playing Internet games with other dorks
  • Consultant- Currently unemployed with no real career prospects

Your typical multiple listing translations:

  • TLC- Probably structurally unsound enter at your own risk
  • Fixer upper- Definitely structurally unsound you can go in but you wont catch me doing so
  • Seller makes no warranties- Its a piece of crap just give us a number and we will run like heck
  • Square footage to be verified by purchaser-Even I cant lie about the size of this house with a straight face
  • Motivated seller-Well we know its wildly overpriced because nobody will even call but the owner still has dreams of finding an unsuspecting dolt
  • Bring your horses- OK you already have one wildly overpriced addiction why not continue to feed it with a mortgage you cant afford

Yes as you can probably guess by now we ran through some "frogs" in our "prince search". In fact for awhile the "prince property" did seem like a fairy tale. Typically what we did was pour through the multiple listing and pick out that "profile" that sounded just right. Then we would do a "drive by" (can you say speed date) before we called our realtor for a walk through.I preferred to work with our own realtor for a couple of reasons. First I trusted Judy our realtor.I could trust her because she used to work for me and I knew her.Just as important was that she knew me.She also knew that I am a research freak and that I like to feel like I am in the negotiating driver seat.I also wanted a buffer between us and the listing agents so I wouldn't be overwhelmed by those follow up calls. When we did go to a listing I always offered to use our car because this was going to be a long process that would even stress Judy's patience.

If my living depended on the listings I wrote I would try to be good at writing an accurate listing.At least I would take the time to get a recent picture,walk the property and be aware of such features as creeks and ponds. The market has changed yet so few agents have stepped up their game.

Isn't this a pristine estate?

What a well manicured pasture!

This was an actual Knoxville MLS listing that we went to look at. Let me tell you that the horses on the gate aren't white anymore.In fact one of them is broken and hanging down. Manicured pasture??? This place in person looks like a set from The Road Warrior or the Walking Dead. Seriously I wish I had taken pictures of this dump. And all for just $169K asking price.
Oh and like Internet dating careless behaviour can result in serious consequences.Yes you can get an "LTD" or a "Listing Transmitted Disease". Such was the "mold house" That was the "move in ready property" that had enough mold growing out of the walls to inspire a Stephen King Novel.
Water anyone???? That was the property that the neighbors quietly pointed out was completely in the FEMA flood plain. Flood plain??Flood Plain??What Flood Plain??? After the neighbors leaked the unspoken secret I used CRS to confirm it.Even after that the realtor denied it producing a four year old survey stating no way, no how, flood plain for this prime property. What they failed to mention is that after the big flood in Nashville last year FEMA revised the 100 year flood plains throughout Tennessee.I noticed that this beauty sold for $140K on a cash deal on 11/18. I wonder if the new owner knows she might need water wings or at least flood insurance.
Yes frogs come in all descriptions and most of them are inaccurate. But we did find our "prince property". The story of how that happened is next.

Be blessed
Bald Man

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